Nobody writes about Alistar Krory
by volibear
Summary: What happened to Allen? Krory investigates. Things around the Order are a bit odd today.


**I wrote this a LONG time ago, and it really shows, as I have not edited this much before uploading. I apologize for the poor sentence structuring. I just thought I'd share, as I find it quite silly to keep hiding it.**

* * *

Alistar sighed contentedly, settling down at the computer for a quick resting time. '_Finally, some me time...' _he hums happily, logging on to check his email. One new, unread message sits innocently in his inbox. Smiling, he opens it up, feeling touched that he had fans.

**From**: omgallenxlavi982019xX

**To**: eliadesavenger

**Subject**: omg omg omg

oh my gawd is this krory-kun

omg ur a vampire holy shit

thats so cool hay do u have allen or lavis number if so can u plz tell me its very important that i find out!

kthxbye

Alistar felt part of his soul die. But he smiled anyway. At least they cared enough to send him an email. He typed a polite reply and sent it back to the crazed preteen girl. After he was finished, he logged off and decided to take a little walk around headquarters. If he had no fanmail to reply to, at least he could find somebody to talk with to pass the time. Komui hadn't given him any new missions lately, and whenever he had one, he would almost always give them to Yuu just to rid of the grumpy man for a few hours. Following this, Kanda would return within a day or less, fuming about idiotic Finders who couldn't tell an Innocence from the backside of a horse.

Allen spent a lot of time training with Kanda, so he was either in the sparring room or in the mess hall stuffing his face with Jerrie's heartily prepared meals. Most of the time, Allen couldn't get a word out with his mouth packed so full of food, so it was hard to socialize with him. Lenalee was busied helping the Science Department, mainly with keeping her criminally insane older brother in check. Had she given any time to take a walk with Alistar, Komui would probably have just the amount of time he needed to build another Koumarin, which would ultimately demolish the remaining headquarters - and then some.

Even Lavi, who was trapped behind a wall of books in the library as he wrote his logs without breaks for food or sleep, didn't have time to take a walk with poor Alistar. He sighed, feeling the weight of loneliness bear down on him. Ever since they returned from Japan, it seems that things around headquarters had become awfully dull. Looking up, he noticed a glint of gold flash into his line of vision. Of course!

"Timcanpy?" the golden golem stopped mid-wingbeat and turned to face him. It appeared as if Tim was on his way to find Allen. Alistar was beginning to wonder how Tim had gotten out of Allen's room in the first place, since the teen had locked it up and always forgot about the poor golem, leaving him behind.

"You're looking for Allen?" he asked. The golem tilted his body forward and back again, as if nodding. Alistar smiled.

"I'll help you find him then!" Timcanpy flew around his head happily and perched in his hair, nestling his stumpy legs into his black and white locks. Smiling, Alistar began to walk. He thought that he had seen Allen pass the mess hall not too long ago. So, with that in mind, the exorcist made his way in that direction.

"I don't understand this place," Alistar sighed, glancing out the large windows of the tower, "Why are there so many people around, and yet none who have time to relax?" Timcampy shuffled in his hair. A shout sounded from the mess hall, and Alistar quickened his pace into a run to find out the source of the noise.

"I-I'm sorry Kanda! Please forgive me! We are completely out of soba!" The fearful voice of Jerrie filled the hall, for all others were silent with their eyes locked on to the pair. Kanda was pissed, obviously because Mugen was raised up to Jerrie's throat and the poor man held up his arms in surrender.

"And why is this?" Kanda asked darkly. Jerrie looked like he was about to regret his next words.

"W-Walker-sama... he ordered the last of the soba!" he admitted, stiff in fear of Mugen slicing through his neck.

"Che," Kanda sheathed Mugen and turned his back on the chef, who sighed in relief, placing a hand over his racing heart. The entirety of the mess hall watched as Kanda made a beeline for the exit, his posture straight. They could almost see the fiery aura surrounding him. This was a bad sign. This was ALWAYS a bad sign.

Alistar stepped aside as Kanda stormed out and turned quickly turned to the left. Just by the way he walked, Alistar could tell Kanda was on his way to murder Allen.

"Oh no! We've got to find Allen before he does!" Alistar gasped, addressing Timcampy, who seemed to be in a slight panic at the circumstance. They raced down the hall, passing Kanda, who seemed not to care. If he were Allen, where would he go? Maybe he was helping out in the science department! Alistar skidded to a halt and turned sharply to his right for a shortcut. This path would take him through the warehouse, but it was faster than crossing the length of the hall. Before a certain incident involving one of Komui's crazy inventions, this path was not previously connected to the lab. However, now there was a giant hole in the wall that anyone could pass through.

As usual, the science department was a papery mess. Books were piled high, looking as if a fly could knock them over. Strange looking solutions were placed in precarious places, some vile looking while others were so stank that they were padlocked in a glass cupboard. As he entered, Alistar spotted Reever carrying a large stack of books.

"Have you seen Allen?" Alistar asked the Australian man. Reever gasped as Alistar's sudden appearence startled him, and the man lost his balance, falling backward. Unfortunately, poor Johnny was right behind him with another stack of books, and Reever collapsed on top of him like dominoes. Three of the books were flung out of their hold.

"No!" the two men shouted, watching in horror as the books flew in the wrong directions. Most landed safe, but one happened to be a rebel - a large red book hit a column of other stacked books. Johnny and Reever looked up at their impending doom, watching with gaping mouths as the stack swayed dangerously back and forth. Nobody made a peep. The books calmed, resting at a jaunty angle that towered over the two men, and even over Alistar. All three breathed a sigh of relief. They must have been lucky that time.

Just then, the door swung in and slammed into the adjoined wall. The sudden impact caused the stack to tumble forward, and the two men gasped and embraced each other.

"Jenga!" Johnny shouted just before the mountain of books rained upon them. Alistar managed to avoid the fallen books. He looked up to see who had caused such an tremor.

"NoOoOoOoOooo! Lenalee-e!" Komui sobbed as the annoyed Lenalee tried to walk out the door. It proved to be difficult for her since her brother was currently glued to her ankle in a sobbing mess of brotherly love. Alistar smiled apologetically at her awkward situation that ultimately only Lenalee could solve.

"Brother, you can't just read an email that says I'm getting married and then believe it!" Lenalee scolded, trying to shake the man off her leg.

"B-but I got over nine thousand of them!" Komui sobbed. Lenalee rolled her eyes at him.

"Those are from fans! They'll do anything if they think it will entertain them!" Lenalee pointed out.

"Lenalee, do you know where Allen is?" Alistar asked, trying to ignore the show Komui made about how he didn't believe her and that he would personally destroy any suitor that dare approach her. Lenalee looked up, her expression softening when she saw it was Alistar who asked.

"Oh, Krory! Yes, he just left, actually."

"Did he say where he was going?"

"He was fetching something for Lavi, since he's not allowed to leave the library. He probably brought them back there."

"Thank you!"

Alistar ran out of the science department, crossing the hall at phenomenal speeds. He passed Kanda, who was still looking for Allen. Maybe he had a chance after all! Timcanpy was still on his head, now biting into his hair in fear of falling off. Alistar skidded to a halt before the doors to the library.

"I think Allen might be hiding in here!" Alistar told Tim, who flapped his wings happily.

Inside the library, it was much like the science department except for the fact that it was much more organized and quiet. There were few finders sitting at tables in the corners, reading tomes, some writing down a bit of information. As he looked around, Alistar spotted a staircase that lead to the lower level which he knew to be a lounge. Lavi had his very own private section of the library in which he wrote his logs. Bookman had made it clear that he was to do it in private, as the secret history of a Bookman was very secret indeed. However, Alistar also knew that Lavi was too much of a rebel to follow the rules exactly as they were laid out. This was because he would often invite him or Allen into his room to look at adult websites on a laptop he kept hidden in his desk; something to do instead of writing his dull, boring logs. He would never invite Kanda (whom he always called by his first name, Yu) because Lavi thought he was too much of a git to enjoy a wonderful little thing called self-indulgence. And of course, inviting Lenalee to such an male event was unarguably out of the question.

So Alistar descended the staircase, leaving the quiet community of books behind him. The room under the library was indeed a lounge. To his luck, Alistar found that the old man had fallen asleep on the lush sofa that faced the other wall. Lavi's workroom was isolated by a door adjacent to the stairs, so it didn't take long for him to cross from the staircase to the door. As he opened it, he was greeted not by the sight of Lavi writing on a seemingly endless roll of parchment, or the redhead with his eyes glued to the computer screen. Instead, he saw the man tied up in the corner, his headband pulled over his eyes and a thick layer of black tape over his mouth.

"Lavi!" Alistar cried, rushing over and tearing the tape that sealed Lavi's lips. He winced as Alistar pulled the headband that covered his eye, the other of which was of course already covered by his eye patch.

"Kuro!" Lavi greeted back. Alistar found himself mildly disturbed by Lavi's cheerful tone.

"What happened? Who did this?" Alistar asked, untying Lavi's wrists.

"I did!" Lavi said proudly. The room fell utterly silent in the pause that followed.

"What."

"Well you see, I asked Allen if he could get me some lunch, since the Panda was being an old fart and wouldn't let me leave. But I was really hungry! And Allen asked me what I wanted and I told him 'Soba', so he went to get me some of that."

"What does this have to do with you being tied up and gagged?" Alistar inquired, a little impatiently.

"Oh... That. Well, after Allen left I got bored and started using the computer. When I checked my email I got a request for a photo. You know I don't like to disappoint my fans! She wanted a picture of me all chained up to a bed with Allen, but since I didn't have a bed or chains, and Allen had already left, I settled for just tying myself up. My only problem was that I couldn't take a picture of myself after I finished. It was so disappointing, too, I thought I did pretty well," Lavi finished with a grimace.

Alistar just stared at him, unsure if he should be worried about Lavi's mental well-being or by how well he was able to tie and gag himself. Or perhaps both.

"So I'm guessing he hasn't returned yet?" Alistar asked, frowning. Lavi shook his head. Timcanpy's wings fell in disappointment.

"Don't worry, Timcanpy, we'll find Allen!" Alistar said with determination as he stood up to leave.

"Wait - Kuro! Want to take a picture with me?" Lavi chirped. Alistar ignored him and made to shut the door, but suddenly realizing something, stopped and faced Lavi.

"Lavi... did you ask him to bring anything else? Something from the science department?"

"Nope! Why?" Lavi said. Alistar closed the door and left. He could hear Lavi shouting something about untying him as he left, but Alistar had much more pressing matters to attend to.

"So if he only went to get soba for Lavi, but he also went to the science department for him... what do you think, Timcanpy?" Alistar found himself and the golem back where they started, in the lonely corridor near the mess hall.

"How is it so easy to lose a white haired kid like him?" Alistar asked to nobody in particular.

"_BEANSPROUT_!" Kanda's voice echoed through the hall, startling Alistar. Allen's yell soon followed, and not long after that, Allen came running from the mess hall. Kanda had Mugen drawn, chasing Allen. When the boy saw Alistar, he quickly whipped around and hid behind him. This did not slow down Kanda, who came charging at them, Mugen pointed forward as he charged.

"Kanda!" Alistar gasped, dodging the blow and launching himself onto the wall with Allen under his arm, "Why are you trying to kill Allen?"

"Shut up." Kanda growled. "Hell's Insects!" The spectral insects erupted from Mugen and flew at the exorcists. They both ran down the corridor, the insects and Kanda chasing them.

"What did you do to piss him off?!" Alistar shouted as they ran.

"I-I walked in on him!" Allen yelled, his face turning red.

"What?"

The two ducked into a path connecting the science department to the rest of the corridor.

"I was getting some soba for Lavi, so I went to the mess hall and asked for a lot of it! But when I got it, I got really hungry and started eating it. But I accidentally ate all of it! So I didn't have any left to bring Lavi. But I knew that Komui always has some food stashed in his office, so I went to the science wing to ask for some, but he was asleep. So I woke him up, but he immediately starting talking to Lenalee about something. So I left the science department empty-handed. Then I thought of Kanda and wanted to apologize for eating all the soba. So I went to his room and the door was open, so I just walked in... and..." Allen trailed off, lost in his thoughts, blushing like a ripe cherry.

"And what?" Alistar inquired, though he wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

"He was... well, playing with dolls.." Allen admitted timidly. Alistar gasped. Even Timcanpy gasped.

"I know how to stop him. Follow me," Alistar said, running in the opposite direction. Allen nodded, following his lead.

Kanda angrily stormed down the corridor. Where had those bastards gone? He gripped Mugen tightly. Nobody - NOBODY would live to know his secret hobby! Grinding his teeth, Kanda turned the corner, only to stop dead in his tracks at what he saw. He dropped Mugen, both hands flying up to each side of his head.

"Brenda!" he cried, his voice unusually higher. Alistar held the doll by the leg, dangling it out the window. Its skirt fell over its upper body, revealing a pair of pink panties underneath.

"One more step and... er... Brenda is fish food!" Alistar threatened, quite unsure where falling out the window on this side of the tower would lead you. Kanda fell to his knees, holding his arms out.

"No! Please! I'll do anything!" he sobbed. Alistar raised a brow.

"Anything?" Kanda's eyes filled with tears as he nodded frantically.

_The following day..._

"Wait, Yu, that looks too stiff!" Lavi complained, holding the camera at eye length. Kanda growled, curling his legs up. Lavi laughed, snapping a few more pictures.

"This isn't going on the internet, is it?" Kanda growled between his teeth. "How long do I have to do this?"

Kanda was chained up in a bed, having only the sheets to cover his otherwise exposed body. His silky black hair was loose and flowing around his head, falling over his shoulders. He almost looked like a girl.

"Just until we answer all the fan mail!" Lavi chuckled, snapping another of his submissive and girly poses. Kanda thrashed.

"What!" he roared. Lavi only laughed.

"Yes! Aggresive! That's what they want!" Lavi snapped a couple more photos. Kanda groaned.

"Hey, Lavi, screwyuu562 wants a picture of Allen and Kanda together," Alistar read off the computer screen. Kanda thrashed again.

"**NO WAY!**"


End file.
